Which Classic Monster Are You?

Your classic monster is the one whose habits match yours: when you come alive, how you behave at a party, what you do when someone needs help, and how you argue. Every one of the four is a little bit of everyone, and one of them is a lot of you.

These are the oldest monsters in the book. The vampire, the werewolf, the ghost and the witch have been told around fires and in folk tales for centuries, long before anyone put them on a screen. They belong to everyone, which is exactly why they make such good mirrors.

The quiz skips the gore. It is about personality: the evening person, the loyal one, the quiet observer and the one who always has the right remedy.

You make ten picture choices, one at a time, each an original drawing made for this site. You pick a Friday night, a coat, your party role, a moon, what you do when someone is lost, a drink, your weather, a gift, how you argue and the morning after.

We use our own proprietary structure: each pick adds a point to the monster it carries, and each total is divided by how often that monster appears across the quiz. The highest score is your monster, and the second is your hint.

Pick what you would genuinely choose. The quiz works best when you resist the monster you think is coolest.

Here is every result you can get.

Vampire: you prefer the evening, and you mean it. You come alive after dark, love a long dinner that starts late and a glass of red wine taken slowly. You own one excellent dark coat, you hold the most interesting conversation at the party, and when you argue you do it quietly and win. You give gifts that are old and exact, and you sleep until the light has gone polite.

Werewolf: loyalty, volume and a bit of weather. You are the friend who goes the whole way with someone who is lost, the one who gets everyone dancing, and the one who argues loudly and hugs straight after. You love wind you can lean on, a walk that turns into a run, and you wake up already hungry. Your pack is everything.

Ghost: you notice the room the others walk through. You drift at parties and hear everything, you had already seen someone leave before anyone else noticed, and you would rather leave the room and think than argue. You love fog, a lamp and a book, tea gone cold and a letter you can reread. You see more than you say.

Witch: you know which jar to reach for. You fix the playlist and the crisp bowl, hand a lost friend a note with the turnings, and name the actual problem in any argument. Your kitchen smells of orange peel, you stew your own drinks, and you give remedies for a specific Tuesday. By morning you have made breakfast for whoever stayed.

Your runner-up is the second creature in your nature, and it softens or sharpens your main one. A Vampire with a Ghost hint is a night owl who prefers a small, quiet gathering. A Vampire with a Werewolf hint is the one still dancing at two.

A Witch with a Werewolf hint looks after the whole pack. A Ghost with a Witch hint notices what is wrong and quietly fixes it before anyone asks. If your top two are close, you are a hybrid, and hybrids make the best Halloween costumes.

Use your result to plan a Halloween that actually suits you.

• Vampire: host a late, candlelit dinner with a dark dress code and a good red.
• Werewolf: organise a big group night out, or a night walk under the moon with a pub at the end.
• Ghost: stay in with a lamp, a blanket and a proper ghost story read aloud.
• Witch: run the kitchen. Spiced cider, toffee apples and a table of things you made yourself.

Then send the quiz round your friends. A group with all four monsters has the makings of a perfect Halloween party: someone to host, someone to start the dancing, someone to tell the story and someone to make the punch.

Each monster is a particular kind of friend, and knowing yours shows what you bring to a group and what you need back from it.

Vampires are the friends for the long conversation. They are loyal to a small circle, remember exactly what you told them last spring, and give the most thoughtful presents. They need people who are happy to stay up late and who do not take a quiet reply personally.

Werewolves are the friends who turn up. They will drive across town, help you move flat and start the dancing at your birthday. They need a pack, and they need to be told when they are being a bit much, kindly and quickly.

Ghosts are the friends who notice. They are the first to see you are not yourself, and they will send the message that says exactly the right thing two days later. They need space, and friends who understand that drifting away from a party is not a verdict on it.

Witches are the friends who fix things. They have the plaster, the spare charger and a straight answer to your actual problem. They need someone to look after them in return, because they rarely ask.